2024年2月22日 星期四

莫非定律

跟慈善店的副經理P邊工作邊聊天,談到英國的問題。我跟他說,未來到英國之前,我以為英國的制度很有效率、值得信賴,畢竟香港很多制度沿自英國,但來到英國之後,才發現行政很多錯漏。P說今時不同往日,七、八十年代的英國確實很有效率,但現在每況愈下,所有可能會發生的問題,都很大機會會發生,不要抱持僥倖之心。我說那不是「莫非定律」(Murphy's Law)嗎?P說,在英國有一個專門用語,稱為Sod's Law,即是可能出錯的東西必然會出錯。

然後,他跟我分享了一首很灰諧的歌,由Flanders & Swann創作,稱為The Gas Man Cometh(煤氣師傅來了),星期一沒有煤氣,煤氣師傅來了,為了找開關總掣,拆下了牆腳板;星期二木匠來了,裝好了牆腳板,但又鑿穿了電線;星期三電工來了,電線是駁好了,卻一腳踏破了窗戶;星期四玻璃師傅來了,裝好窗戶,但踩花了牆壁;星期五油漆師傅處理了問題,但塗了煤氣的開關;星期六日工人休息,到了下星期一,煤氣師傅又來了,維修煤氣的開關。

很幽默的一首歌,表達了英國人面對荒謬時的處世態度。問題去了又來,永劫回歸,淡然一笑,世界就是如此,是處世的大智慧。

T'was on the Monday morning, the gas man came to call,

The gas tap wouldn't turn, I wasn't getting gas at all;

He tore out all the skirting boards to try and find the main,

And I had to call a carpenter to put them back again!

Oh, it all makes work for the working man to do...

T'was on the Tuesday morning, the carpenter came round:

He hammered and he chiseled and he said "Look what I've found!

Your joists are full of dry rot, but I'll put them all to rights!"

Then he nailed right through a cable and out went all the lights!

Oh, it all makes work for the working man to do...

T'was on a Wednesday morning, the electrician came:

He called me 'Mr. Sanderson', which isn't quite the name;

He couldn't reach the fuse box without standing on the bin,

And his foot went through a window, so I called the glazier in!

Oh, it all makes work for the working man to do...

T'was on the Thursday morning, the glazier came along

With his blowtorch, and his putty, and his merry glazier's song;

He put another pane in, it took no time at all

But I had to get a painter in to come and paint the wall!

Oh, it all makes work for the working man to do...

T'was on a Friday morning the painter made a start,

With undercoats and overcoats he painted every part,

Every nook and every cranny; but I found when he was gone

He'd painted over the gas tap and I couldn't turn it on!

Oh, it all makes work for the working man to do...

On Saturday and Sunday they do no work at all;

So it was on the Monday morning that the gas man came to call!



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